As a practitioner, I invite my clients into honest and genuine dialogues and experiments. In the same spirit, it is appropriate to share with those who might consider working with me the journey I’ve been on the past several years.

For those who have found certain online documents regarding me, the piece below is offered in the spirit of consent, that you may have the information necessary in determining whether working with me is the right choice for you.

Here is the rest of the story…

“I am human; I regard nothing human as foreign to me.”
-Terence

In the Spring of 2016, I met a man who became a Sacred Intimate client. He was a peculiar man, loving, kind, generous, and fiercely loyal. We became close friends in the course of our work together. He became a trusted confidant, and to him, I became much more.

One evening in the Spring of 2017, he shared with me a secret that he was into illegal porn. Always desiring to be both a listening ear and a safe space to land, confess, and explore without judgment, and caring for him as I did, I mistakenly asked him to show me. My hope and desire was to help him better understand and uncover the roots of his attraction, and eventually lead him away from his dangerous habit.

I say my actions that night were a “mistake” because, regardless of motive or intent, my asking and willingness to peer into his darkness with him was an illegal action. An action, 1.5 years later, I would discover comes with a very heavy price.

“To befriend the shadow is to face fear and to work with it. The work implants the courage to reclaim what it is demoralizing to admit about ourselves. Admission that we have a dark side is the best protection from its deleterious effects and the best entry into its salubrious effects.”
-Shadow Dance by David Richo

In peering into my client’s darkness, I both endangered and set myself on a path which would take me from arrests, the presence of judges and prosecutors, cops and detectives, hooked up to polygraph machines and months of psych evaluations, to finally jail, the ending of a 7 year relationship, and the darkest years of my life - the darkest nights of my soul. In short, my intention to help bring light, understanding, and healing to my client’s darkness landed me in my own inevitable underworld.

Call it foolishness, arrogance, hubris, mushy professional boundaries…love. The result was the same.

I had fallen.

Nigrum Nigrius Nigro
(This darkness darker than darkness, This black of blacks.)

So much could be written about the years between 2018 and now - my original arrest and the ongoing traumatic consequences of my actions. (And perhaps one day I shall. But those stories are for another time.) Yes, I take responsibility for what I did. And yes, had I known then what I know now, I would’ve done things differently to safeguard not only myself, but offer a better way forward for the healing of my client. In doing neither, I harmed us both. I crossed a line I could not uncross, rang a bell I could not unring. And was swallowed by darkness so deep and so vast, I thought I’d never see light again.

And for a long while, I struggled with whether I deserved to.

And THIS, is where the rest of the journey began for me.

“No tree can grow to Heaven unless its roots reach down to Hell.”
-Carl Jung

One can not truly understand the dark night of the soul unless one has experienced it! Whilst in my own underworld, I came face-to-face with Death. And learned lessons I would not have otherwise; ways I wanted and needed to be in the world, gifts I wanted to give, and the types of communities I wanted to be part of. Yes, I crossed a line with my client (a price I am unwilling to pay again), but in so doing, I was brought to my knees to face and contend with my own shadow, my own Death. The death of my dreams, my relationships, my ego, even my frail beliefs about God. Crippled with fear, grief, PTSD, guilt, suicidality, and no short amount of shame, taught me the true power of vulnerability and has brought me to a place where my choice to live, the choice to stay on this plane of existence must be inspired and rooted in a greater cause - something larger than myself.

And that cause, my reason for living, was and continues to be Community!

“The nature of humanity, its essence, is to feel another's pain as one's own, and to act to take that pain away. There is a nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.”
-John Connolly

So, where am I now? Well, the legal requirements imposed upon me have been met. I understand the legal boundaries in which my practice must remain, and better understand the dark underworld and sympathize with those traumatically affected by this illegal material. I am free to continue my practice, which I forge with great zeal, experiential wisdom, and a well of knowledge, intuition, and deeper compassion and empathy I could not have mustered before these events. I have been blessed with an amazing community of family, friends, teachers, clients, colleagues, and lovers. I do not walk this road alone. And I would not be where I am today without all of their love and steadfast support. I am called into compassion and reached for with grace.

As my teacher once said when my days were darkest and I felt I had fallen from grace … “No, Garland, you have fallen INTO grace!”

In closing, I offer my experience and wisdom in the service of my clients and my community. I understand what it’s like to pay dearly for the mistakes one’s made and the often long road of healing afterward. If my experience resonates with you, calls to you, I invite you to reach out.

Be Well and Thank You for reading!
Garland Jarmon

Due to the complex nature of my story and experience, I acknowledge some readers may have some concerns about me and my work. In light of this, some of my colleagues familiar with the entire situation have made themselves available to answer any questions you might have. Please feel free to reach out to any of them.

Greta Flowers
The Pleasure Guide
https://www.thepleasureguide.com/

Katie Spataro
Sacred Womb Services
http://www.sacredwombservices.com/

Jay Craver
Jcseattle@gmail.com