Spiritual Eros Ask Dr. Bate - July 2015 — Spiritual Eros - Sex and Intimacy Coaching

Originally appearing in the July 2015 edition of Ask Dr. Bate on Bateworld.com

Dear Dr. Bate:

I woke up this morning at 3:30 and began to lightly tease my dick and balls for about 5 hours while watching porn. I did not cum. When I got done, my balls began to ache and now there is steady pressure between my balls and anus. What is the best way to get the pain to stop?


Thanks for your question.

What you are describing is a clear case of what’s called “blue balls” or Epididymal Hypertension. Blue balls often occur when the male body has been stimulated or aroused (not necessarily during sexual intercourse or masturbation) for an extended period of time without ejaculating.

You see, during arousal, the arteries feeding blood to the genitals expand allowing more blood in, hence why you get an erection. But at the same time the veins that allow the blood to leave constrict, hence keeping blood in the genital region. Over time, the pressure builds and the blood that has remained becomes less and less oxygenated, turning the blood blue.

Hence the name, “blue balls” – the testicles and scrotum can turn a bluish-purple due to the lack of oxygenated blood (which is red).

The pain and discomfort you feel is because of the increased build-up of blood. The easiest and quickest way to relieve this tension is to simply ejaculate. This will allow the veins flowing from your genitals to expand and for the blood to travel back towards your heart. Eventually the body will remedy the issue if you cease stimulation without ejaculation, but that could take hours depending on your physiology.

Happy bating and be gentle with yourself!

Hi! I’m a 40 year old guy who has been masturbating since age 12. I used to blow my loads in about 3 minutes. As an adult, I was able to hold off for about 15 minutes.

Within the last few years, I’ve discovered the pleasure of edging, thanks to BateWorld. Now, I can go for about an hour or two before ejaculating. However, that is only with lots of break every 10 strokes or so.

I am so envious of the guys in solo porn movies who can go for 20 minutes or more, without stopping their stroking rhythm. What do you recommend so that I will be able to do the same?


Thank you for your sharing your journey with masturbation over the years. Let me first say that the change that you’ve experienced in your masturbation through edging is no small feat. Congratulations!

As far as prolonging your stroking before coming to the edge and needing to take a break every 10 strokes or so, I would suggest experimenting with slowing down your stroke and taking deeper, more deliberate breaths. This can help to move your erotic energy throughout your body instead of being concentrated on your cock, leading to pleasure felt throughout your body.

Also, I say enjoy the sensitivity of your cock! A lack of cock sensitivity is also a frustrating problem for a lot of guys too, maybe even the guys that you see in pornos. Let me just say that editing in pornos can cover up a multitude of issues that make sex seem effortless and fantastical. Many times the guy has performance anxiety and can’t cum for a long time, so they end up editing the scene to make it shorter for fantasy sake. Those guys just might be envious that your cock is so sensitive and wish that they had more feeling in their penis.

Everybody’s penis is different and responds differently. Appreciate what your penis can do, the immense pleasure it brings you, and what you have discovered through edging. Your cock will never not be sensitive (thank God), but through slowing down your strokes and breathing more deeply, you can disperse the erotic energy throughout your body and prolong the length of your edging cycles.

Have fun experimenting!