Spiritual Eros Ask Dr. Bate - October 2015 — Spiritual Eros - Sex and Intimacy Coaching

Originally appearing in the October Edition of Ask Dr. Bate on Bateworld.com

Dear Dr. Bate,

I was listening to the Sunday morning show Face the Nation and one of the political candidates was discussing his opposition to the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage. In part, he said that the Supreme Court has changed the focus of marriage from children to adults. That is, he has always believed that the only reason couples should marry is to have children.

If we accept this premise then it would follow, I think, that masturbation is wrong as well. Some of the political candidates seem to be saying men should only ejaculate when they intend to father children. Which would not only negate masturbation, but any recreational sex. I don’t think I believe that these men only have sex in order to procreate, but this seems to be what they’re saying.

I have a urologist who tells me it’s good to ejaculate on a frequent basis, and I’ve read articles that claim masturbation helps to stave off prostate cancer. So there would seem to be a medical argument to support ejaculation. So my question is: can a man go his whole life without ejaculating? Would that be healthy?


Thank you for posing such an interesting question in a religious/political context. I would first like to say… never take sexual advice from a politician! Ever! No really!

Political and religious views will never change what nature has deemed innate. Politics and religion can make their mandates, and people can choose to follow certain practices because of those mandates, but nature, in the form of your body, cannot be mandated. For example, a man can choose to never PURPOSEFULLY ejaculate via masturbation, but the body, created as an innate sexual being, will ejaculate without purposeful provocation. This is best exemplified by the “Wet Dream” where your body will viscerally respond to an erotic dream by ejaculating in your sleep.

Also, it is possible, as I have personally experienced, through bouts of abstinence from masturbation/ejaculation, that ejaculate can build up to the point that you can actually secrete ejaculate while defecating (pooping).

And yes, research has proven that regular ejaculation can lessen the risk of prostate cancer. Regularly flushing your system, so to speak, prevents the build up of cancer-causing chemicals.

So there you have it! Never ask a politician about your sex life and enjoy cumming all you want!

I know a lot of us here are avid masturbators, and as such, our penises sometimes are in need of some TLC. Can you recommend something to reduce the soreness/redness of the penis after long bate session?


This is a great question as it DOES affect many of us.

Here’s something to remember – Penile care doesn’t just begin after your masturbation session is over. It begins before with the types of lube you select, during with the toys, strokes, or other conscious ways you brings your penis pleasure, and after. Most body parts, when used extensively will, in time, need rest. It’s not recommended to keep firing on all cylinders constantly (much to the chagrin of many of my fellow bators out there). The brain needs rest, muscles, after working out, need rest, the heart needs rest, the entire body needs rest. Rest is good, healthy, and necessary!

Your penis needs rest as well. This is the third part of your penile care – rest! I recommend after extensive bating, that you give your penis some time to recuperate before launching into the batehole again. Remember, we want to respect, listen, and obey our bodies. If you take care of it, it should give you many more years of pleasure.

Now, more directly to your question. This might take some experimenting as each owner of penis has different needs, allergies, and sensitivities. For instance, after years of using Albolene as a bate lube; I discovered that my penis was having an adverse reaction around the crown. I have since switched to coconut oil and have had no issues.

If you are experiencing soreness/redness there are a few things you can try in conjunction with rest (mileage may vary):

  • Try a non-inflammatory cream and/or soothing/moisturizing lotions- Most of these creams are over the counter and may be useful for remedying some soreness.
  • Epsom Salt bath – Epsom salt is also a non-inflammatory agent and warm water can also potentially relieve the soreness as well. However, be careful not to go too hot.
  • Warm/Cold compresses – Although warm compresses might feel soothing, there is a potential for it not. Heat expands blood vessels and can potentially have the adverse reaction you desire. Try cold compresses as well and see which one gives you the most comfort.
  • Castor Oil – In our business we use castor oil to help break up scar tissue. Castor oil also has the potential of relieving aches and pains.

As with all suggestions made here, if any of your symptoms continue or worsen consult your physician.

I also want to open to forum for other guys who have other tried-and-true methods they would like to contribute to the topic! What works for you guys? Would love to hear your suggestions.